God as a model for marriage
I was sitting on poolside today and let my mind wander down the strange routes that it has a tendancy to wander and came up with a couple of interesting ideas on this topic, so here's the ruminations of a mind that woke 3 hours before the sun and was saturated in coffee...
According to Deuteronomy 6:4 "The LORD our God, the LORD is one!" (NKJV) what is interesting to note about this verse is that the word for 'one' `echad used here is also used earlier to describe the union of a man and woman; "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24 NKJV). Assuming that we are Trinitarians this leads to interesting implications for in a similar way in which the Father, Son, and Spirirt are 'one' so to are a married couple. However, is there equality within the Trinity or is there a hierachy? Is the Son subservient, within the Godhead, to the Father? Is the Spirit subservient, within the Godhead, to the Father (and possibly the Son)? In theory most Trinitarian Christians would probably assert that there is no subservience of one member of the Godhead to another. Whilst in his earthly ministry the Son was subservient to the Father's will in his eternal relations to the Father he is no more or less. Furthermore while at the moment the Spirit is subservient to the Father (and possibly the Son) this is not the eternal relations of the Spirit to the Father but rather only his current role upon earth. If it is then true that this is a unity of equals then in like terms is not marriage the unity of equals. While at times and in situations one is to be subservient to the other this does not negate their equality and it is not nescessarily always the woman who is to be subservient. Furthermore there is a difference between the public appearance and the private reality. Just as it appears that the Spirit is subservient to the Father it may be that one of the partners within a marriage appears to be subservient to the other. However, just as the Spirit is equal to the Father within their personal relationship so to should the one which appears subservient be equal to the other within their personal relationship.
Further to this, in Genesis 2:18 God decrees that he will make a 'helper' for Adam. However, elsewhere in the Old Testament the same word `ezer is used of the help that God provides to humanity, or more specifically Israel. Now there are three possibilities for what this help entails. Either God is subservient to humanity the way woman should be subservient to man in a marriage. Or woman are the greater of the two in a marriage in the same way in which God is greater than humanity. Else there is a complementarity to the roles of both. The first is easily identified as a balatant heresy. The second is probably incorrect since if God had intended it to be that way one would think that he would have changed the patriarchal society of ancient Judaism. This leaves the third. The woman rather than being the lesser person in the relation is of equal status with the man but has complementary roles. It is the difference between a servant doing the tasks the master does not wish to do versus two colleagues each performing distinct tasks that work together for the greater good. No single human is perfect but when two are united in complementary roles then the result is greater than the sum of the two wholes.
For these reasons I believe that a marriage should be a union which is egalitarian and complimentary. Equals yet performing distinct tasks.
At least that's my take of it all. I know this sounds quite a lot different from my regularly exclaimed position so I will stop becoming logical and take up my mantle of rational sexist again :P.
According to Deuteronomy 6:4 "The LORD our God, the LORD is one!" (NKJV) what is interesting to note about this verse is that the word for 'one' `echad used here is also used earlier to describe the union of a man and woman; "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24 NKJV). Assuming that we are Trinitarians this leads to interesting implications for in a similar way in which the Father, Son, and Spirirt are 'one' so to are a married couple. However, is there equality within the Trinity or is there a hierachy? Is the Son subservient, within the Godhead, to the Father? Is the Spirit subservient, within the Godhead, to the Father (and possibly the Son)? In theory most Trinitarian Christians would probably assert that there is no subservience of one member of the Godhead to another. Whilst in his earthly ministry the Son was subservient to the Father's will in his eternal relations to the Father he is no more or less. Furthermore while at the moment the Spirit is subservient to the Father (and possibly the Son) this is not the eternal relations of the Spirit to the Father but rather only his current role upon earth. If it is then true that this is a unity of equals then in like terms is not marriage the unity of equals. While at times and in situations one is to be subservient to the other this does not negate their equality and it is not nescessarily always the woman who is to be subservient. Furthermore there is a difference between the public appearance and the private reality. Just as it appears that the Spirit is subservient to the Father it may be that one of the partners within a marriage appears to be subservient to the other. However, just as the Spirit is equal to the Father within their personal relationship so to should the one which appears subservient be equal to the other within their personal relationship.
Further to this, in Genesis 2:18 God decrees that he will make a 'helper' for Adam. However, elsewhere in the Old Testament the same word `ezer is used of the help that God provides to humanity, or more specifically Israel. Now there are three possibilities for what this help entails. Either God is subservient to humanity the way woman should be subservient to man in a marriage. Or woman are the greater of the two in a marriage in the same way in which God is greater than humanity. Else there is a complementarity to the roles of both. The first is easily identified as a balatant heresy. The second is probably incorrect since if God had intended it to be that way one would think that he would have changed the patriarchal society of ancient Judaism. This leaves the third. The woman rather than being the lesser person in the relation is of equal status with the man but has complementary roles. It is the difference between a servant doing the tasks the master does not wish to do versus two colleagues each performing distinct tasks that work together for the greater good. No single human is perfect but when two are united in complementary roles then the result is greater than the sum of the two wholes.
For these reasons I believe that a marriage should be a union which is egalitarian and complimentary. Equals yet performing distinct tasks.
At least that's my take of it all. I know this sounds quite a lot different from my regularly exclaimed position so I will stop becoming logical and take up my mantle of rational sexist again :P.
3 Comments:
Could it be that your reading too much into hebrew word for help?
If I help a bird that has been attacked by a cat, does that mean that I am a helper in the same way as a secretary is paid to help? To help is something we do for each other every day, but it doesn't mean that our relationships are defined by being helpers. God, being God naturally will help people, in a reaching down kind of way, but that doesn't mean he is submitting to people, nor that his primary role is a helper.
That aside, I think I somewhat agree with you.
Good point Nato and excessive exegesis can lead to interesting results. My only defence could be that you are helping the cat because it is incapable of helping itself. However, generally a secretary is doing tasks their employer could perform but it is easier upon them to delegate these tasks to the secretary. In this instance it could be more a case of assisting rather than helping. ?Maybe?
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